Self Esteem and Confidence

Nothing can dim the light that shines within, says the poet, Maya Angelou. What lets you shine from within? It is your self-confidence; it is your belief, trust and acceptance of self.

Self and Self-confidence –

Self refers to the aggregate of individual’s conscious experience, thoughts, ideas and feelings with regard to their abilities, skills and personality. In simple words, how one forms a perception and overall opinion about him or herself. When this perception is positive, satisfactory, constructive, optimistic and realistic then it builds a strong belief and trust on self, known as self- confidence. To understand self – confidence, it is important to recognize the need of self-esteem.

Self-esteem –

When you say ‘esteem’, you mean to respect and admire someone or something. When this appreciation or devaluation appraisal is done for self, it is known as Self-esteem. We all evaluate and draw out conclusions about our own worth. This value judgment of self-worth is Self-esteem. There are 2 major types of self-esteem, Low and high. As the name suggests, People falling under High self-esteem hold a positive regard for themselves, they have high acceptance and awareness of self. whereas individual who has low self esteem lacks confidence about who they are and what they can do, they often feel incompetent and less worthy.

What gives shape to your self-esteem and set forth your confidence –

× Understanding of self – First of all, everything starts within your own head, how you see yourself, what are your perceptions and thoughts related to yourself. The day you start believing that you are good enough, you can do whatever you dream of, you have the requisite abilities to achieve what you desire. Combination of aspiration and aptitude brings you wonders, but for that you need to endeavor and before that you have to believe. Remember you lose a battle in your head first than in reality. Your internal monologue reflects in your level of confidence and self-esteem.

× Your Self-Image – Mental picture about your own appearance and personality. A strong and positive mental image helps individual to be confident and assures us of a better impression on others.

× Your experiences and accomplishments help you figure out your aptitudes and skills. It helps us to make our belief system stronger. It adds on to our confidence level.

× Your self-esteem can also be shaped by people that surrounds you. A positive feedback from people will encourage you and help to robust your self-esteem. However, in same place when someone demotivates, criticize or devalues you then the effects will be reversed.

How can one know where their self-esteem lies –

Fetch for the following words in you for high self-esteem/low self-esteem

× Self-Confident/ always in a doubt

× Assertive/ Feel shy or inferior to put their opinions

× Accountable/ Fearful of taking responsibility

× Positive/ Negative approach in life

× Believe in self/ Incredulous of own abilities and skills

× Considerate/ Inconsiderate

× Self -resilient/ Dependable

× Realistic/ Often seek perfectionism or estimate themselves way to less

× Emotionally calm/ often hostile and easily get irritated

× Sensitive towards self and surrounding/ Hypersensitivity leading to feel attacked rather than taking feedbacks in healthy manner.

× Self- worthy/ feelings of insignificance

× Hustle until success/ gives up easily

× Strong spirited/ Easily breakable

× Take failures as lessons / Get demotivated

× High self-efficacy/ Low estimation of one’s ability

× Self-regulation/ Repulsive or does not express themselves at all

Þ It’s okay to feel either ways sometimes, you are not expected to be polished all the time. However, your overall response counts.

How can one improve their self – confidence and self–esteem –

1. Identify and eliminate the negativity – Know that it is you who shape these ideas and thoughts about yourself, Thus the change starts within your own cognition. Replace ‘I cannot’ to ‘Why can’t I’. Do not use negative monologues and replace it with positive self-talk. Being coherent to yourself will help you spot great things. Not just your thoughts but also detach from people who spread negativity in your life. Your fellowship dominates your thought process.

2. Stop the comparison– Every Individual is unique in themselves; people grow and prosper differently.

3. Mindful Assessment – Estimate your profit and loss from a situation beforehand, when you know what will you gain from doing this and what you might lose in failure. Most of the times, even in failures, you gain some experience, which will help you improvise in future.

4. Keep up the progress – Have mental fortitude to fight against all odds, you might encounter failures in life but every time you learn something.

5. Don’t be afraid – Stop putting your mental effort where it is not required and invest it into the places which will bloom for you in future. You need not please and match everyone, every time.

6. Stand up for yourself – Learn to say No, have courage to speak for yourself.

7. Look at a bigger picture – Small hurdles in your way might seem the end, but you need to capture and look at the whole image and see if your efforts will pay off.

8. Acknowledge the difference between over-confidence and self-confidence – it takes time and mental effort to build self-confidence, but it is necessary to stay on grounds and apply rational thinking. Apply practicality and logic before drawing out your own conclusions. For this you have to set realistic goals.

9. Work on your self– Your beliefs have to be supported by sweat of your brows as well. Your thoughts and ideas alone might not take to your desired place, accompany them with right actions to reach your destination.

10. Sense of control in life – You need to be the master of your life. It will be you, who will make or break your way. Practice self-regulation to manage those emotions and behavior for fruitful results.

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